Slowing down

Last week 3 of the 5 of our family was sick.  I got taken down the hardest and I'm about 90% back to my usual self.  The problem is I'm not good at slowing down and accepting that I'm still 10% on the mend.

Mondays are our home day.  We clean the house, do laundry and enjoy a slower pace.  Yesterday I spent some time outside helping Aaron plant in the garden.  He loves it when I do that.  I'm not sure if he loves it because he enjoys spending the time together or if I'm just a good field hand and way more helpful than our sons.  Regardless, I did it and it was nice but it didn't help me rest much.

So today I'm going to.  I'm allowing my boys to watch an extra dino documentary while I'm writing this, before making breakfast.  I'm allowing myself that luxury.

On Saturday morning we met up with my parents.  Meeting up with them is wonderful, but it always takes me for an emotional turn.  I want them to enjoy their grandchildren, but my boys are typical boys--they are loud, fast and full of energy.  They behave at church and MDO so I really do think they'll be fine for school, but somehow my parents see their misbehavior and my inadequacies as a parent.  Ouch.

I know I'm not a perfect mom.  I'm reminded very often.  #2 challenges my authority a lot in front of my parents.  I hold my ground and am consistent with what I believe is the way to handle him.  I stay calm, refuse to wager or argue and it's unpleasant, especially with an audience.  But I know my kid and I know I'm the one God chose to raise him (along with Aaron).  I do it differently than my parents did and that's OK.

Then why do I feel like I failed?