Preparation

Last Saturday I got an email from Shutterfly that their Christmas cards were 40% if I ordered soon.  So, I did.  A football game was on and my husband is a die-hard Aggie football fan.  There is not talking during games.  We've been married 9 1/2 years now so I've figured out how to sit with him, be quiet and enjoy the game.

As the Aggies played, I got on Shutterfly and made my Christmas card.  It's fantastic!  And it's at my house!  Hooray!  Before Halloween, I have my Christmas card ready to mail.  As a woman who feels odd amounts of stress during the holidays over things like having to wait on a photographer to get the family picture to me so I could do the cards (2 years ago), wait on shipping to get the cards to me (3 years ago) or the stress of choosing not to do cards (last year), having them ready to go is just really nice.  And they are CUTE!

As I write this, son #2 is happily in his room playing Legos alone while his brothers watch Bob the Builder.  He has figured out that it's fun to be by himself to play sometimes.  It recharges his batteries.  I'm thrilled that he's figured this out because his temper flares the most of the 3.

A box of Christmas cards.  Legos.  Such small things can bring such happiness.

Time for a laugh

Halloween.  Some love it.  Some abstain from it.  I'm luke-warm at best.  Let me explain the very humorous picture above.  It's me, not looking best, but modelling what I thought would be my Halloween costume.  No, I wasn't going to astronaut or hazmat worker.  I was trying to be a Nascar pit crew person.  Clearly I missed the mark.

Here's the story.  I take Family Fun magazine which I really do like, except it has the whole "look how perfect my family is" vibe which can be toxic.  There are lots of cute crafts, recipes and activites to do with kids.  You can do one of these things, take a picture, send it in and they post them.  I've often thought it would be great to have a photo gallery of magazine-inspired misses.  Like the photo above.

The magazine showed family Halloween costumes.  Precious!  I fell in love with a Nascar theme.  The son wore a racing suit (like #2 is going to wear) and mom and dad wore matching white coveralls decorated as his pit crew.  I was smitten.

I searched online for coveralls for me which isn't all that easy because I'm short and petite.  I finally found some on Amazon and asked Aaron to order them and matching ones for him the next time he ordered something. 

About a week later, I was so excited when my suit arrived.  And then I tried it on.  When #3 (age 3) saw it on me he wasn't impressed.  After I took it off, he actually took it to the trash to throw it away.  I was tempted to let him.  This is NOT what the mom looked like in the magazine photo.  Of course, I spent all of $5 on this lovely tyvek suit and I'm sure she spent more on a higher quality fabric.  (Side note--I will wear the suit some day in the future.  We have a farm and I'm certain there will be a day when having a tyvek suit will be a blessing).

And then I had a moment of clarity:  why do I need to dress up?  I'm 34.  No one is giving me candy and we're not going to any Halloween parties.  We'll go to our church's Fall Festival.  Fun, but I'm going to be too busy chasing my own kids to show off my own duds.

I'm glad the mom in the magazine gets her Nascar pit crew moment.  I'm jealous of the Christmas card moment it could have been.  But, I've had enough expectations blatantly busted by the reality of having 3 little boys to really think we ever would have even had a good picture.  One of the boys would have refused to wear the matching costume.  Someone could have gotten sick.  Someone else could have just been a toot that night.

I tell my boys this lovely phrase often:  sometime you're the windshield and sometimes you're the bug.  This is just life.  I was the bug in my plans for Halloween.  The silver lining I'm focusing on is that the moment happened in the privacy of my home, weeks before Halloween, so at least I can enjoy the special night with my family--at peace with me not wearing a costume.

Joy through tears

Today I had to say good-bye to a dear friend, Holly.  She and her family will be moving to another state soon and today was my last time to see her for a while.

I called her yesterday and we had a lovely chat.  We took a moment to celebrate what a neat friendship we've had.  I welcomed her at her first MOPs meeting here, showed her the ropes and encouraged her to get involved.  I also told her about Community Bible Study which has blessed her many times over.  I've seen how much she has blessed others in CBS by serving as a children's teacher (my son loved her class and learned a ton) as well as the other ladies who have been blessed by her.

She also played an important role in my life.  We found out we were pregnant around the same time with our second go-around with kids.  I was terrified of adding a third child to already full load with my twins.  Holly was overjoyed--she has a beautiful spirit that isn't prone to worry as mine is.  We were pregnant in the summer together with small children.  That's a bond.  We even took our kids and pregnant selves to the zoo.  It was hot and I remember being ready to leave pretty quickly.  I remember calling her when my labor began.  David was early and I didn't quite think I was in labor.  She wisely suggested I head to the hospital.  Glad she did--I delivered David within a few hours.

Fast forward 3 years to now.  When she called and told me of their move, I cried as did my boys.  They love her kids, her and her husband.  Today they insisted they give her a good-bye hug.

As we had our lunch, we were discussing the concept of joy.  Not an easy one to explain or fully understand, even for adults.  I told them that when we're happy, we smile.  When we have God's joy, the smile may not show on our faces, but it's in our hearts.

Knowing that Holly and her family are moving makes me cry, but I have a joy that our friendship will continue.  God used our friendship to accomplish His goals at a specific time.  I'm sad that I won't see her at CBS and MOPs anymore.  I'm sad our kids won't play together.  But I feel a joy that this move is good for her family and our friendship won't end.  We're relatively close to where she's moving every so often our visiting family.  We'll make it a point to get together.  We'll send Christmas cards.  I'll see her on Facebook.

Joy is a tricky thing.  Happiness or sadness I get pretty easily.  Joy implies faith and trust.  Good-bye, sweet Holly.  It has truly been delightful to be your friend during this season and the joy we bring to each other will continue, even if it's from far away. 

Remembering Grandma Leslie

I sat down to write my short story entry for the story competition.  I was pleased with it, but I realized pretty quickly it wasn't really a short story.  

I'm disappointed that I don't have an idea for the story competition, but I decided to go ahead and post what I wrote here.

Today is my Grandma Leslie's birthday.  She passed away about 15 years ago and I miss her.  Writing this was a neat way to celebrate her memory. 

Even though I won't submit it for the competition, I'm glad I took a moment to write it.  I decided to go ahead and post it here to celebrate her legacy with you.

A Legacy to Continue

There are many legacies we can leave future generations. Hard work, a dedication to truth, a passion for serving God and a love for the land are qualities I admire and hope to leave to my children and future grandchildren. However, when I think of my own Grandma Leslie, the legacy that makes me smile is her ability to be tougher than any situation that faced her.

I loved my grandma and enjoyed a special relationship with her. She was always my cheerleader and made me feel like I was the most special person she knew. She passed away about ten years ago now and I miss her. She passed away before I met my husband or had my sons. She would have loved them all very much. It saddens me that she never had to joy of knowing them. More than that, I regret I didn't get to pick her brain with mothering questions. She had a wealth of knowledge that I wish I could have asked her about.

Grandma had 12 brothers and sisters. She grew up in rural Kansas. My favorite story about her happened soon after she married my grandpa. They were visiting my grandpa's parents' home which was on a farm. As she walked outside, a snake fell off the roof of the house and landed around her neck.

Had this happened to me, I would have yelled like a crazy woman and made all kinds of racket. I can see myself jumping up and down. There would be tears. I would fully expect my husband to rescue me from imminent danger.

However, Marjorie Leslie was made of sterner stuff than me. She simply grabbed the snake and slung it across the yard. Didn't even slow her down. Had there been Facebook back then, I doubt she would have even posted the event. She just took it in stride.

As a mom of 3 young boys, I'm learning that I'm tougher than I think I am. I chased a lizard out of our house the other day with a broom. Grandma would have been proud. There were no tears—I wanted my boys to see a brave woman who could keep it together. Afterwards, John, age 4, commented, “Mom, it's a good thing we didn't have to call animal control.” I doubt they come out for a small lizard, but still good to know that I could be tough when called upon.

Grandma Leslie is one of those people who truly blessed every person who knew her. I'm proud to be her granddaughter, carrying on her legacy to be tougher than the bumps that might come my way. I'm hoping no snakes fall around my neck any day soon. If they do, Facebook will hear about it . However, I like to think that through it and other challenges that come my way, my boys will see a toughness in me that inspires them to face this world with a confidence, just like the legacy that my Grandma left to me.

A locked suitcase

Yesterday I was watching a show I enjoy and part of the story was that a man moved in with the woman but brought a locked suitcase with him.  He wasn't ready to unpack it yet and it drove the woman crazy that he had a secret from her.  At the end of the show, she picks the lock and he finds out that her curiosity got the best of her.

This got me thinking about marriage.  In the show, they weren't married.  Keeping secrets apparently was part of their relationship.  Not mine.  Aaron and I agree that in marriage, there shouldn't be secrets. It made me wonder if I have any "locked suitcases" I keep hidden.

At this point in our marriage, we're moving forward with a dream of Aaron's and I'm learning how to be supportive.  His dream is to be a farmer.  We got 5 sheep the other day.  I know nothing about sheep.  Never had a desire to learn more than I know.  However, in a span of a few days, I've learned a lot.

I realized yesterday I needed to talk through some of the thoughts, fears and feelings I was having about sheep and farming.  I was filling up my suitcase.  Last night I told Aaron what my concerns were and he listened.  We dreamed together.  It was good.

It takes courage to open up the suitcase.  It's easier to keep it shut.  Intimacy is created when the contents of the suitcase are shared.

Closets

I'm now up to 35 goals out of 50.  Many of them are about organizing.  It's not that I'm averse to organizing, it's just one of those things that require a concentrated amount of time and energy.  Henceforth, it just doesn't seem to happen.

I actually enjoy organizing, or more truthfully, the feeling I get after I organize something.  Last Saturday, we had rain so soccer games were canceled.  I didn't do the whole closet, but I organized sections of my closet in that precious time.  Side note:  if I didn't have 3 small children to attend to, I would have done the whole closet.  However, said children are my responsibility, so I did the best I could and am very pleased with the results.

And now I walk in my closet and I feel wonderful.  Proud.  Relaxed.