I didn't really want to do it, but I'm realizing that the more new things I try, the richer life is. I also read the other day that learning new things as an adult could keep Alzheimer's at bay.
Child #1 is such a mini-me. He has taken to kinder like a duck to water. He loves the order, the structure and he especially loves that he is doing well. While I'm happy he's happy, I'm seeing an ugly side come out of him. He doesn't like the kids that aren't like him and mess up the order of the system.
Child #2 has a soft heart and a natural kindness for others. Child #1 on the other hand, seems to have more of a hardness to him. It makes me sad. I'm someone who feels deep empathy for others and will defend the underdog like a mother lion when necessary.
Child #1 will complain about the other kids in his class and say he doesn't like them. He says it in strong ways that really bug me. I called someone the other day who is an expert on kids this age just to figure out what is developmentally appropriate for kids his age. She was reassuring that this is normal and a part of kinder. She encouraged me to tell him to find one thing he likes about these kids he doesn't like. I did so and he adamantly told me there was nothing to like about them. Yikes.
Here's the "aha" mom moment to share. During the chat about development, I realized that it's not my job to my child #1 into me. God gifted me with a very soft heart for others. It still confuses me at 35 that not everyone feels as deeply as I do about things, but they don't. It was a realization moment that child #1 wasn't created just like me. And that it's OK.
And now for the happy ending. Child #3 likes Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, an updated version of Mr Roger's Neighborhood so we record it. The other day the episode was all about being kind to others that are different than you. The phrase they repeated over and over was "In some ways we are different but in other ways, we are the same."
I made all 3 watch the show as I cooked supper last night. After it was over, I asked #1 about ways one of the little guys in his class that we've discussed is like him. He thought for a minute and then said, "On the inside we're the same. He has bones and blood." I chimed in with this, asking "Does he have a heart?" "Yes." "Hands?" "Yes" We continued this way a while.
#1 still has a ways to go to showing kindness to all, but this is a small start. In motherhood, it's good to celebrate the small victories.
