This is our new token system. I copied this idea from a friend of mine as a way to help guide good habits in my boys. Kindergarten is creeping closer every day and I want to get the boys ready so the transition will be as smooth as possible.
The token system is in place so they can see very easily when they do good and when they do bad, with the hopes that they'll choose to do good more and more.
When I taught school, I used a marble jar to teach classroom procedures. I would drop in a marble when they did good things. It was a beautiful way for them to know immediately when as a class they were following our classroom rules. The magical little clink of the marbles were so powerful in shaping our classroom rules.
So, as a mom, I'm trying to do the same. It's way harder. In class, I never took out marbles. With my own kids, I do. My students didn't kick each other, weren't mean to the dog, didn't talk back, throw things at me when they got mad, disobey what I said or make a mess of wherever they were. I'm sure my students did all of those things when they were 3 or 5 and probably at 7 or 8 at home, but I was their teacher--not their mom.
Yesterday I hit a brick wall when I realized I focus so much on the things they do wrong I rarely notice what all they do right. That was a yuck moment. It was Monday--cleaning day--and they weren't doing their tasks well. I felt myself morphing into this nag woman, demanding that they work harder, etc. I realized if they didn't become cleaning wizards immediately the whole token system would go bust because the whole point is to gain tokens. They were just losing them. Uncool.
So, I chose to postpone cleaning day. We didn't have to clean yesterday; it would easily wait. Instead, I took a deep breath and decided to focus the day on rewarding my boys for all the stuff they did well. Not easy for me, but a good choice.
Today we had to take Sardina, our second dog that will get her own post another day when child #3 isn't waiting on me to do a Lego project, to the vet. On our way back, we had an adventure. We went to a new park that was fantastic. We also did Target which can be a beating with all 3 boys, but today it wasn't. I used the token system to reward them for following directions and it was great! Not quite as magical as my marbles once upon a time, but better than it could have been.
Motherhood is an endurance race. Some days I have to decide having the cleanest house on the block just isn't worth the fight.
