tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87946275416557515542024-02-19T05:38:41.602-08:00Laura's cozy cabinFiguring out daily how to be who God made me to beLaurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.comBlogger185125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-21348434402375755612020-06-24T04:54:00.001-07:002020-06-24T04:54:22.863-07:00HopeLast night some friends and I were talking about just how bad our world currently is. It's awful. This morning, the lyrics to this song came to mind. It's "Is He Worthy" by Chris Tomlin<div><br /></div><div>Verse 1:</div><div>Do you feel the world is broken? We do.</div><div>Do you feel the shadows deepen? We do.</div><div>Do you know the all the dark won't stop the light from getting through? We do.</div><div>Do you wish that you could see it all made new? We do.</div><div><br /></div><div>Verse 2:</div><div>Is all all creation groaning? It is.</div><div>Is a new creation coming? It is.</div><div>Is the glory of the Lord to be the light within our midst? It is.</div><div>Is it good that we remind ourselves of this? It is.</div><div><br /></div><div>Chorus:</div><div>Is anyone worthy?</div><div>Is anyone whole?</div><div>Is anyone able to break the seal and open the scroll?</div><div>The lion of Judah, who conquered the grave, </div><div>He is David's root and the lamb who died to ransom the slave. </div><div><br /></div><div>Is He worthy?</div><div>Is He worthy of all blessing and honor and glory?</div><div>Is He worthy of this?</div><div>He is.</div><div><br /></div><div>Verse 3:</div><div>Does the Father truly love us? He does.</div><div>Does the Spirit move among us? He does.</div><div>And does Jesus, our Messiah, hold forever those He loves? He does.</div><div>Does our God intend to dwell again with us? He does.</div><div><br /></div><div>Chorus:</div><div><div>Is anyone worthy?</div><div>Is anyone whole?</div><div>Is anyone able to break the seal and open the scroll?</div><div>The lion of Judah, who conquered the grave, </div><div>He is David's root and the lamb who died to ransom the slave. </div></div><div> </div><div>Bridge:</div><div>From every people and tribe, every nation and tongue</div><div>He has made us a kingdom of priests and guides to reign with the Son</div><div>Is He worthy?</div><div>Is He worthy of all blessing and honor and glory?</div><div>Is He worthy?</div><div>Is He worthy?</div><div>Is He worthy of this?</div><div>He is</div><div>He is</div><div><br /></div><div>Is He worthy?</div><div>Is He worthy?</div><div>He is</div><div>He is</div><div><br /></div><div>He is worthy,</div><div>He is worthy,</div><div>He is.</div><div><br /></div><div>-----------</div><div>Amen.</div>Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-40599232746738949392020-05-30T05:44:00.001-07:002020-05-30T05:44:30.588-07:00Good-bye celloI grew up in a family that valued music, specifically playing the piano. At age 4 I began lessons and continued through college.<div><br /></div><div>My grandmother had been a piano teacher and my parents had both taken piano lessons as children but not taken lessons long enough to really be able to play. They both regretted quitting and were determined their own kids wouldn't make that decision.</div><div><br /></div><div>My brother, 2 years older, was very good at piano. He had long fingers and a natural way with the keys. I'm short and have small hands. I'm not so naturally gifted. However, I learned to love the piano and I never asked to quit lessons. As an adult I still play the piano regularly. My brother hated practicing and quit in middle school.</div><div><br /></div><div>Growing up I went to a huge high school where there were lots of opportunities but you had to be very good to make any teams. I chose to join the choir and had lots of great experiences performing and doing fun things. I was also active in the theater department. I was in musicals and competed in acting and debate competitions. However, if I could turn back time I would have joined the orchestra or band.</div><div><br /></div><div>My husband went to a smaller school and had different experiences. He played the trumpet. Now, he plays the trumpet at church from time to time but as an adult he has picked up and learned to play the tuba. He loves playing the tuba. He plays it weekly at church and my boys love that he can help them as they're learning brass instruments.</div><div><br /></div><div>A few years ago I decided I wanted to learn to play the cello. I've always loved the sound of the cello. For my birthday I got a cello from Amazon. It was the cheapest possible kind and just a little too big for me. It was very hard to tune and once my husband would tune it the tuning would slip out very quickly. I could only play when my husband was home and able to take the time to tune it. Annoying.</div><div><br /></div><div>I play guitar so my fingertips already had callouses and were accustomed to the feel of frets on a cello. However, using a bow is hard. Practicing wasn't enjoyable; it was work. </div><div><br /></div><div>Around this time I also started working part time as a bilingual speech therapy assistant. The job was very challenging and I just didn't have the margin to also have a hobby that beat me down. Playing the guitar and piano are fun. The cello wasn't. So, I put the cello away for a while.</div><div><br /></div><div>I got the cello back out last fall only to realize that it had broken inside its case. My father-in-law fixed it and I was ready to go again. My husband tuned it and set it out for me to start playing. Accidentally I knocked it over and it completely broke in half. My husband was disappointed (and I think a little mad that I was so clumsy) but I wasn't. I moved it and it sat in our bedroom, broken, staring dejectedly at me.</div><div><br /></div><div>I decided looking at a broken cello is depressing and that it's not the time for me to pick it back up. I told my husband and he was disappointed but not terribly surprised. I'm taking on new classes with my job that are demanding a lot of me. I quickly become grouchy and snappy when I'm under stress. I need hobbies that are relaxing and enjoyable--not frustrating.</div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe one day I'll pick the cello back up. (Not that cello--my father-in-law took it to strip it for parts). I hope one day I'll "get my mad under control" (I'm pretty sure that phrase came from Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood) and I can have a challenging hobby. Until then I'm going to enjoy blogging, coloring and playing the piano. I'll just listen to Yo-Yo Ma and the Piano Guys and making listening to the cello my hobby.</div>Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-56853039497249969932020-05-27T13:32:00.001-07:002020-05-27T13:32:45.839-07:00Blessings through raindrops<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqFaFlfqWrSzoNzuDvaLLKILPS8Bp6SCNvhFwZE-RcVfbK19TsiqGGKLCGkxVdB5BTajifYUIn5y3nlS-hqy4zZ0TCsglhgLgdQGBU4CAZawCfcg_Qr5s8QzotTj_FB_RaSVLvngUqiRo/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4128" data-original-width="2322" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqFaFlfqWrSzoNzuDvaLLKILPS8Bp6SCNvhFwZE-RcVfbK19TsiqGGKLCGkxVdB5BTajifYUIn5y3nlS-hqy4zZ0TCsglhgLgdQGBU4CAZawCfcg_Qr5s8QzotTj_FB_RaSVLvngUqiRo/s320/D+blessing+box+May+2020.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">A song that I really like by Laura Story says "what if our blessings come through raindrops, what if our healing comes through tears?" What a beautiful analogy for right now. Our communities are hurting due to the pandemic. My youngest son, pictured above, has been the most effected by the pandemic of my family of 5. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">My husband and son B are introverts and have loved not having to go out. Social distancing is a kind of vacation for them. Son A has handled it OK but he's missed his friends and social interactions at school and church. I, the family's strongest extrovert, have had a rough time. I'm an easy crier and this has brought out lots of emotions. Added to that the stress of having to move classes online and it's been a doozy of a semester for me.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">However, son C has really not been a delight through this. He's disappointed that he missed out on lots of things: field day, lots of science lessons, fun with his friends and our 2 church camps this summer. Through all of this he's mad. At China. It's not been fun to be sharing his home.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Well, as a family we've decided to pick up the hobby of disc golf. I like it because there are no fees to pay, no aggressive behavior and we're outside in the sunshine. There's a course at a local park and the last time we went son C saw a Blessing Box outside a cafe. He was impressed that the community places these boxes so that those in need can have food. Today he brought a can to add.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It is easy to complain about all the things that just aren't quite right as we get back to "normal." I'm celebrating today that my son took a moment to stop blaming and being mad. Instead, he took a moment to give to others. Made my mom heart proud.</div>Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-6682244807128941582020-05-13T05:29:00.001-07:002020-05-13T05:29:53.848-07:00NestingWhen I think of nesting I think of a pregnant mom. Weirdly, I have felt the need to "nest" lately and I'm definitely not in that place.<div><br /></div><div>I've accepted that motherhood runs in seasons. What somehow always surprises me is that I feel sad I feel when I feel the end of a season. This season of the stay-in-place has been weird. As a teacher it's been very stressful. I haven't slept well. I've worried a lot. But, I've been challenged to grow and it's made me feel alive. There was a challenge for me to face and I did.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now the semester has ended. I've turned in grades. And I feel...proud of the hard work I put into my job. But now as a mom I feel sad. Sad that my boys are growing up and unsure about what the future might hold for them. I think I feel like I can finally take a deep breath and take stock of my life beyond work. Yesterday, instead of analyzing these fears and praying through them, I felt the need to tidy up our home and clean. Oh well. The older I get the more I see the need to give grace to everyone--especially myself.</div>Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-3035355170071073312020-05-03T07:12:00.000-07:002020-05-03T07:12:07.921-07:00Looking towards hopeThis is going to be a heavy post. I feel things deeply and sometimes I won't realize something is "simmering" until it comes up to the surface. When it bubbles up I've learned if I process through it I can release it.<br />
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I'm going to process here. Yesterday a friend of mine and I went on a walk. It was lovely. During our walk she shared that a 7th grader in her son's school took his own life recently. So, so sad. I don't know any of the specific details so I'm only going to work through my own feelings with this.<br />
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A life was cut short. That makes me sad. My twins are a year younger than this young man. That makes me feel afraid. I grieve for the parents of this young man and those who knew him well. I grieve for the community and the loss they feel. I am sad that we live in a world where not all people know they are loved. (Not a fault statement--just a sad declaration).<br />
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This morning I played the piano and sang. I started crying and I couldn't figure out why. Because this was simmering. Music brings me closer to God than anything else. When death touches my life I turn to songs of my faith. Hearing their familiar words, feeling their familiar melodies is soothing. Tears flow. I release the sadness and am reminded that the circumstances of this world are hard. This is a broken world. But there's a promise of hope in Jesus. That's what joy is. Joy is looking ahead to the hope and not focusing on the mess right in front of us.<br />
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My youngest son feels things very deeply like I do. He's very upset that the fun parts of summer (2 different kinds of camp through church) have been cancelled. He's personally angry at China 😳 I'm trying to encourage him to see that even though the fun he had planned on was cancelled we'll still do other things. He's not impressed with that logic.<br />
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My prayer is that he will learn to use his deep feelings for good while also understanding how to look towards hope.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-58366023299405887402020-05-02T11:18:00.002-07:002020-05-02T11:18:19.621-07:00Shark TankI love Shark Tank. I'm relatively new to it. I enjoy the celebration of hard work. People go on Shark Tank and tell their stories. Their stories remind me that with hard work lots of great things can happen. I like that the sharks invest money to make more money. This is the core of our economy. Cool show.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-6306799251436596972020-05-01T14:59:00.000-07:002020-05-01T14:59:04.212-07:00Subway kindnessI get emails from Subway. I like Subway so I don't mind too much. I got an ad telling me that if we bought 2 foot longs 1 would be donated to those in need.<br />
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The boys and I went to Subway. A decided he only wanted a pizza so we didn't have 4 6 inch sandwiches like I had planned. At the window I asked if I could donate a foot long to needy people. Her answer made me smile: for that given time Subway was keeping count of how many foot longs were sold and that was how they knew how many to donate. Cool.<br />
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These are crazy days with the stay in place orders all around. I can't go to church which just makes me sad. But there is still good. Foot long sandwiches are being given away. Hooray for Subway to restore my faith in humanity.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-66609548858126644542020-04-29T15:09:00.000-07:002020-04-29T15:10:39.328-07:00Baby 1 is a boy!(I wrote this blog post back in 2006. The twins I'm writing about in this post are now 12 years old. Both turned out to be boys).<br />
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Today I went to the Dr's office. The Dr said they are both doing very well as am I. They both weigh .4 pounds and by using the sonograms, the nurse could see that they are developing at exactly the same rate, meaning that their arms and legs are the same length. From what I understand, if they weren't exactly the same size at the this point, it could be cause for concern. I also asked if it's possible that the twins will be identical and he told me that it is possible. I had assumed that they would be fraternal because they are both growing in their own sacs, but he said it might be that they are identical. We'll know definitely after the birth and we might know sooner if Baby 2 cooperates as Baby 1 did today.<br />
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Baby 1 (pictured at right) moved around a lot during the sonogram a<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlll5JDMWa5xDKkGlrHrtrs74-cblj2qXhuV1ntwbAk5CfescpuDsRvi1F9IYjC1tLcnNHejwPgpFBi1NKFWPFPJJMBhklKhtVBdxs6ypFFOFVP5WbtTlexyRyUii42nvIvnhhowsBlDA/s1600-h/Walt+at+16+weeks.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088614895179432770" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlll5JDMWa5xDKkGlrHrtrs74-cblj2qXhuV1ntwbAk5CfescpuDsRvi1F9IYjC1tLcnNHejwPgpFBi1NKFWPFPJJMBhklKhtVBdxs6ypFFOFVP5WbtTlexyRyUii42nvIvnhhowsBlDA/s320/Walt+at+16+weeks.JPG" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px;" /></a>nd gave us a fabulous "classic boy" shot--there is no doubt that he is a boy! This sonogram picture shows Walt (we're calling him his name now that we are certain he's a boy) but is doesn't show the very definite boy shot we were able to see. <br />
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Both babies have very good heartbeats--Walt at 158 beats<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzcZLcOX7sFpy2BpZAcpsEY1pcQDC5oihsLn6mxjGbrJUVb93IksKEvpDJZc2OjaUGoE_DxQ4Z7R0tUMiJV3obaDVnxQwZ777J-Kt-mbMJBaduFSglkQhFXKfXN1-3-edv8V_9fGmrlDA/s1600-h/Baby+2+at+16+weeks.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088614207984665394" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzcZLcOX7sFpy2BpZAcpsEY1pcQDC5oihsLn6mxjGbrJUVb93IksKEvpDJZc2OjaUGoE_DxQ4Z7R0tUMiJV3obaDVnxQwZ777J-Kt-mbMJBaduFSglkQhFXKfXN1-3-edv8V_9fGmrlDA/s320/Baby+2+at+16+weeks.JPG" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px;" /></a> per minute and Baby 2 at 154 beats per minute.<br />
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Baby 2 (pictured at right beneath Walt) was not as active and was in a position that didn't give us a definite shot regarding gender. The nurse and I thought we saw evidence of Baby 2 being a boy, but she said it wasn't conclusive. She said we'll probably be able to tell next time.<br />
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I'm just thrilled that Walt and Baby 2 are both healthy are growing. Last night I went to a dinner for Moms of Multiples. It was so nice to meet other moms who have had the same experiences I'm having. I'm looking forward to the monthly events, playgroups and mommy night outs with these neat ladies!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-85191158232414028382018-05-07T07:17:00.000-07:002018-05-07T07:17:17.689-07:00RosesIt's "Give your teacher a flower day" for teacher appreciation week. I love this week. My boys are reminded to do something thoughtful for their teachers. Very sweet.<br />
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Today each boy took roses from our rose bushes outside our house. My husband is the green thumb and I don't really have an interest. However, today I offered to "dehead" the rose bushes for him. Before marrying him I didn't know deadheading was a thing. He's explained that for roses to bloom again you have to knock off the dead bud. I asked if there's a wrong way to do this. No. I went to work with some kid scissors and a bowl to put the old buds in.<br />
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I don't typically enjoy garden work but I really enjoyed this. It was prayerful for me. I thanked God for the beauty of the morning, the blessings of a spring day and my family. As I was cutting some thorns poked me. It reminded me that in beauty there are also thorns. <br />
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This morning I put the paper towel roll out on the table, thinking my husband would wrap the rose stems in paper towels to avoid my boys from being poked by thorns. Nope. One did get poked right before we left and while fixing him a paper towel handle I told him about the classic song "Every Rose Has Its Thorn." He didn't seem impressed.<br />
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The rose bushes are now ready for new roses. I'm not one who generally stops and admires nature. It was nice to do it this morning.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-20572491533197877392018-04-10T06:22:00.001-07:002020-04-29T15:03:16.845-07:00Flavored coffeeMy last post was heavy--it dealt with adoption. I felt much better after writing that post. For me, blogging isn't about trying to save the world, sell a product or build an audience so I can launch a book. (All of those are great things if it's what you're doing. It's just not my road). I blog as a form of expression. I feel things deeply and by using words I can let the feelings go. If someone happens to read these words and be blessed by them, that much the better. <br />
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On a side note I have found Christian Yoga on You Tube. I'm not great at being still. Yoga is a challenge for me, but when I do it I can tell I'm more relaxed and not as quick to snap at my family.<br />
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I enjoy coffee, but it needs to be jazzed up a bit. My husband is a coffee purist. He likes his coffee black. I like flavors with a little cream and sugar. Granted, I don't use much cream or sugar but I like a bit.<br />
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The other day I ran out of coffee and thought I would try something new. I chose a cinnamon flavor with a hint of churros. What was I thinking? I like churros but I don't want them in my coffee. It tasted not great. Oh well.<br />
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Every once and a while I get to go to HEB which I love. There was a "mystery flavor" bag that was a dollar and some change. I got it and am really enjoying whatever it is. I think it would be a fun game for them to put the answer of what I'm actually drinking at the bottom of the bag where I'll see it, but to date I have no idea what the mystery flavor is. I don't think it's churros because I'm really liking it.<br />
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I'll just like it happily and move on.<br />
<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-35331059897670860282018-04-05T06:43:00.001-07:002018-04-05T06:43:11.888-07:00Stirrings from adoptionAs a baby I was adopted. I grew up knowing and I will give my parents credit for raising me with a good sense of who I was as an adopted person. At about 5 I asked if my mom had nursed me because I heard on the news that children who had been nursed were better athletes. She told me in simple terms that she had not because I had been adopted. I remember she recorded an episode of Sesame Street that talked about adoption. I accepted that they chose me out of love.<br />
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But somehow I decided my birth mother had rejected me. I now know it's common for adopted children to feel separation anxiety and on my own, I can go down that path.<br />
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In junior high I chose to give my whole heart to Jesus and give up my insecurities about my adoption. The thing about that is I have to revisit that decision from time to time, even as an adult. Around that time I chose to forgive my birth mother. I had no contact with her but in my heart I chose to let go of the disappointment I felt at being giving away and chose to feel thankful instead. One of the best decisions I've ever made. (Small bunny trail--I made that decision at youth camp during an altar call. Had I not been at that camp I don't know that I would have addressed that pivotal issue in my life. Thank goodness for youth camp). A few years ago my birth mother contacted me. I sent her a picture and letter telling her to be at peace--God blessed my life with my parents and I'm thankful for all the amazing opportunities I have.<br />
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A close friend is going down the international adoption process. While talking to her the other day I was reminded that when my parents filled out their paperwork they had to fill out if they would take a redhead, native American or Afro-American baby. (My mom told me this). Being an optimist, I like to think it was so that the parents could choose if they and their adopted child would constantly not have to answer the question of "Where did your red hair come from?" like I did since I'm a redhead and no one else in my immediate family is. My mom used to tell people her aunts and grandma were redheads and she and my dad wisely coached me to say "It came with my head."<br />
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But even still, at 39, when I see a redheaded woman on TV I'll ask my husband if I look like her. He's learned to say something kind like "a little, but you're more beautiful." Awww. My sons look like me in their eye shape but aren't redheads which is fine. I've known many redheads and we all seem to have high emotions. A house full of highly emotional people would be exhausting.<br />
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At the core of this issue (which is why I'm blogging about it--to put a name on it, grieve over it and release it--) is the issue of worth. Life is sacred. It's created by God. My parents were gracious, loving people who chose to open their home to a baby girl who needed a family. They didn't specify that the baby look just like them. They accepted a redhead, loved her and raised her as their own.<br />
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It's amazing that love can be that big. I am in awe that my friend feels called to adopt a child when she already has others. I don't feel called to more children; my own challenge me daily. I'm having to remind myself that God called me to my road, not hers. I'm to raise my boys, be a loving and faithful wife, and honor God in all my other responsibilities as well. This is my path. And accept that I'm loved and enough. I don't have to earn my worth in God's eyes. Being me is all I'm called to be.<br />
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I have a children's music collection and I was playing through it the other day. Kermit's "It Ain't Easy Bein' Green" touched me. I've never really liked it before, but it's about contentment. It made me feel a little better that Kermit struggles with the same issue and I'm not even green.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-85415782746858100662018-03-22T06:26:00.003-07:002018-03-22T06:26:36.477-07:00My roadI'm really bad at comparing myself to others. Where do we learn this? Why do I think I have to be perfect at everything I do? I don't expect of my kids but somehow I expect it of myself. Silly.<br />
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Last night instead of teaching the kids music at church, someone else taught while I helped with behavior. Back in the fall, K asked if she could teach the kids a special Mother's Day song. She is an elementary music teacher and doesn't get to teach this song anymore at school. She wanted to teach it to our kids. Lovely.<br />
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Last night was her first night with them and she was magical. I love when I get to watch someone who loves what they do and is really, really good at it. This was what I saw.<br />
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The parent in me was thrilled that my own sons were in the group of kids who were blessed by this lesson about moms. The insecure perfectionist in me wondered why I'm not as magical as K.<br />
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Well, K is a professional music teacher and has been for 25 years. She has taught this song and huge groups of kids very successfully for many years. This is what God called her to do and she does it joyfully.<br />
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God called me to other things. Not her things. I have to remind myself to stay on the road God made for me and not try to jump onto someone else's road.<br />
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I wish my road were more glamorous sometimes but I'm learning that contentment with the road God has given me is the lesson I need to learn now. I'm figuring out a new job. Not easy. My boys are moving into a new phase of growing up which requires me to change a bit in the way I parent them. Boo. I just barely got a handle on the last phase and no one asked my permission to change things up.<br />
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My prayer: that I can lay my pride down at Jesus's feet and instead of feeling comfort in my own successes, lean into Him to navigate my own road to His glory.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-47542777235960203162018-03-10T09:55:00.004-08:002018-03-10T09:55:50.146-08:00MadA few years ago I read that if your "mad" seemed disproportionate to the things that were upsetting you it was probably worth some thought. <br />
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Well, I'm a passionate person. My "mad" ignites quickly and I can go from 1 to 9 very quickly. If I could use it for good it would be an awesome super power. It's not. <br />
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I married a man who is the opposite. I like to say I'm the fire to his ice. Sometimes I think he doesn't really value my passionate spirit and nature; I think it's more annoying than anything to him. We now have a tween who can also go from 1 to 9 annoyingly quickly and I get how it's not a personality trait to admire.<br />
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I heard someone advise once that when you find yourself at a 9, take a moment to take a deep breath and remind yourself that in the grand scheme of God's eternity this was really not a 9. I actually make myself think (and say out loud if I'm with my boys) "in the grand scheme of God's eternity, this is really a __". Usually it's about a 0.3 if I'm really honest. Just going through this helps diffuse my mad.<br />
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That was in momland. I'm now in the working world where I have to behave professionally. Boo. The other day I was teaching a college class and I got irritated with something and I snapped. Not a huge deal; I doubt the students really noticed that I snapped. I hid it well. But the mad was still there.<br />
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So why am I mad? Injustice. Disrespect. Meanness. Bad drivers. Awful fashion trends. Getting grey hair. Uncomfortable shoes. Having an out of tune piano and forgetting to call the piano tuner. Entitlement. The fact that food that tastes really good many times isn't very good for you. Mass shootings. Those really throw me. I pray for the safety of my family, but it's still a horrible reminder of just how awful this world is. I tell my boys often that on this side of heaven, life is going to be unfair. It's one thing to say it to my kids and another to trust God with the uncertainty of tomorrow.<br />
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I'm sure my passionate nature serves me well; I think I my "highs" are higher than those of my husband. However, on the flip side I'm sure my "lows" feel lower. I think the lows are connected to the "mad." Writing on this blog helps me shine the light on the mad, analyze it and then let it go. I also like to play the piano and sing really loud to get the mad out. I typically do that when my family is gone. It's not terribly lovely but it sure helps me feel good.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-56046827560960052372018-03-10T08:14:00.000-08:002018-03-10T08:14:36.215-08:00Dabbing UnicornsAh, unicorns. As a mom of all boys I don't get lots of opportunities to be in the world of unicorns.<br />
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Side tangent...we play Dungeons and Dragons as a family and I have the honor of being the Dungeon Master. (If you're unfamiliar with this, it means I'm the narrator of our adventure and I can throw weird stuff in when I feel like it). I was joking with my husband that I would enjoy this adventure more if there were unicorns. Alas, he showed me in the Monster Manual that there are in fact unicorns and if I choose to bring one in they'll be in our adventure. Score!<br />
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Anyway, at Christmas I put a handful of "Choose kind" t-shirts on my Amazon wish list. I love the book (and movie) <u>Wonder</u> and like the thought of reminding the world to be kind through my fashion choices.<br />
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My youngest son was looking over my shoulder as I chose and noticed a pink shirt with a rainbow-colored unicorn doing the dab. Oh my. It looked like something a 9-year-old would wear proudly. And somehow I got it for Christmas.<br />
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When I wear this t-shirt I feel like I'm dressing too young for my age and I feel a little silly. However, my son loves it when I wear it and even more than that, it reminds me to embrace the fun of life and not care what others think. There are so many rules in life that I feel like I have to follow. It's fun to just wear a silly shirt.<br />
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At the donut shop the cashier told me she loved my unicorn shirt. :) Me, too.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-52314123578150134832018-02-17T08:15:00.001-08:002018-02-17T08:15:21.615-08:00UnfairThe term "first world problem" reminds me that my frustrations are such small matters in the grand scheme of life. My family has food to eat, a nice home and stability. But yet I still feel frustrated today.<br />
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It's Saturday, the day for cleaning our home. Back when I was home full time with small kids we did the cleaning together on Mondays. It was a good system because I had complete control and a low bar for how much they would help. The house got clean.<br />
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Now, I work part time and yes, I could do all the cleaning which in the short term would be easier for me. My house would get clean and I wouldn't have to fight with my family. However, I HATE the entitlement of the current generation of kids so I expect my boys to clean.<br />
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We have figured out that I become very unpleasant when delegating cleaning tasks. My husband has taken this from me. He assigns the jobs on Saturdays and boys do them. I've had to choose to let this system be the best it can be and not become a she-dragon.<br />
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Small caveat: when the house has to be clean I give myself permission to do it so I know it gets done well. Not a perfect system but it works well enough.<br />
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What's unfair is I'm the only one who cares if our house gets clean. Why is that my job? We have 2 indoor dogs. The dog hair is obvious but somehow only bugs me. Oh well.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-85069256736032827942018-02-01T07:05:00.000-08:002018-02-01T07:05:14.386-08:00Church MusicI love music. I love church. Hence, it stands to reason that I love church music.<br />
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On Wednesday nights I teach the 1st-6th graders of our church. I have a 20 minute block with the younger and then a 20 minute block with the older. My goal is to teach them to worship through music.<br />
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I teach one hymn a month and one modern song a month. The hymns come from the <u>Hymn Treasures</u> curriculum and I use the <u>Getty Kids Hymnal: In Christ Alone</u> for the second song each month.<br />
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20 minutes isn't much time, but I've found that longer than that and behavior begins to be a problem for the kids who don't love music. <br />
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Last night we wrapped up "Victory in Jesus" and "Across the Land". I love, love, love "Victory in Jesus." We actually sang it congregationally at my wedding to honor my grandparents who had passed on. I enjoyed teaching the rich lyrics to the kids. I love passing down our beautiful musical legacy to these kids. "Across the Land" is also a good song that celebrates God's creation.<br />
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Last night I let the kids play instruments as we practiced our songs. They had worked hard all month to learn these songs so it was good to let them have some fun. And, I've been fighting a cold so my throat wasn't up to a whole lot of singing with my guitar.<br />
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Next week we begin with "Savior, Like a Shepherd Lead Us." I love Psalm 23, but I'll admit this isn't one of my favorite hymns. I actually debated whether or not to teach it. I decided to do it because of the rich, beautiful truth of God being our shepherd and we sang it in "big church" not too long ago. It may not be super fun, but it's a good song to know. That said, I decided at the end of the time, we will sing "10,000 Reasons" as a reminder of how thankful we should be for all our loving shepherd has given us.<br />
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It's tricky teaching kids these days. They want to be entertained and my own 3 boys don't love the music time. I have to remind myself that part of teaching kids is what I call the "meat and potatoes" truths of the bible. For my 20 minutes it might not all be bells and whistles and fun, but they're learning the truths that grow our faith and knowledge of who God is. Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-76385405147406961182018-01-20T08:48:00.000-08:002018-01-20T08:48:49.262-08:00Jane Austen is my patronusMash-ups seem to be popular. I love the Piano Guys who do mash-ups of classical and not classical music. My favorite of theirs is a Star Wars song paired with a classical song. I also love "Fight Song" paired with "Amazing Grace." It brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it because I think it reveals a deep truth that God's grace is my fight song.<br />
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Last summer I took my boys to a Harry Potter birthday party at a library in a neighboring town. It was fun. Our local library didn't have one so I asked the children's director about it. Oh, there are fantastic plans in the works for this summer. Very cool.<br />
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I noticed at the Harry Potter party that moms had cool Harry Potter shirts. I decided my wardrobe is lacking and I need one, too. I searched Amazon and found a plethora of options. One caught my eye that said "Lorelei Gilmore is my patronus." Being a huge fan of the Gilmore Girls, I giggled but it didn't quite fit me. I searched a little further and found the perfect one: Jane Austen is my patronus.<br />
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For Christmas, my sweet husband gave this to me. I love it. The problem is my Jane Austen people don't know Harry Potter and my Harry Potter people don't quite understand my love of all things Austen. I myself am a unique mash-up.<br />
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Why do I love Austen? I just do. I read <u>Pride and Prejudice</u> as a senior in high school. I was in AP English and it was on a list of optional books that were recommended reading. I loved it. I took a winter term class about Jane Austen my freshman year in college where we studied all her books and even had a Jane Austen expert teach us how to dance in the style of the time. Wonderful. Not wonderful enough to change my major to English, but I still really enjoyed it.<br />
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After college I met my husband. We went on a few dates but I knew I wasn't ready to settle down yet. I was headed to Madrid to complete my Master's in Spanish and he would remain in Texas. When I told him I thought we needed to stop dating since he was clearly ready for marriage and I just wasn't yet, he told me he had read <u>Pride and Prejudice</u> for me since I had mentioned it was my favorite book. I kept dating him. I love that even though Jane Austen is not a favorite of his (way too wordy for his taste) he read the whole book for me. (Quick side note--I read The Hobbit for him around the same time. Not my cup of tea). We can thank Jane Austen for our happy 14 1/2 years as man and wife.<br />
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Harry Potter is just awesome. It's a great story. I didn't love it at first but I really got into the complexity of Snape's character. Is he good or bad? My favorite character of the series is Neville. (I hope I spelled that right. Sorry if I didn't). I talk Harry Potter a lot at the library with the customer service representative while I'm checking out books. I asked who his favorite character is and he said Hermoinine. (Sorry again about spelling. It's Saturday and I just don't feel like looking these crazy British names up). Yes, H is lovely and oh so smart, and my husband assures me I'm his H. So sweet. However, Neville is loyal, kind, brave and the underdog. I will always root for the underdog. <br />
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This quality drives my oldest son crazy. I will cheer for whoever I feel like in sporting events regardless of my loyalty to the team. Greatness is greatness and should be applauded. <br />
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My fantastic sister-in-law saw my new shirt over Christmas break and encouraged me to wear it proudly whenever I feel like and not worry if others get it or not. And I am. And I love it. The whole patronus thing in the books was never completely clear to me, but to me, Jane Austen makes me happy. She lets the ick of the world loose its power for a moment and I smile.<br />
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And when I wear it to the library's Harry Potter birthday party this summer I will happily explain its meaning to whoever asks. Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-90326355459019939582018-01-19T11:55:00.001-08:002018-01-19T11:55:05.996-08:00Not perfectI don't know where I got this idea, but I feel like everything I have to do has to be completely perfect all of the time. Where did I learn that? More importantly, how can I unlearn it?<br />
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I started a new job this week. I've come to expect the "ick" that comes with all things in this life, especially new things. Don't get me wrong--I'm still an optimist. However, this is a fallen world. We tell our boys "Life ain't fair and the world is mean." Expecting this world to be perfect is setting yourself up for disappointment. I do that and then get grumpy about it. I'm trying to learn to just go with the flow a bit more, accept that all's not perfect and just be happy with my best. Easier said than done. <br />
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Well, I'm teaching college kids. This is a new adventure and one I feel mostly qualified for. No, I feel completely qualified to actually teach this class. I actually really enjoy the teaching. For me, the "ick" is the technology. There's a lot of it and it drains me. <br />
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The good news is that the students are kind and helpful. I told them I'm really, really good at Spanish and teaching. Technology is not my strong suit. They get it and are quick to help out when I ask. And by golly, I'm learning to be more comfortable with the technology.<br />
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So I'm giving myself grace to not be perfect at everything. Feels good.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-70019959148492906882018-01-13T12:10:00.000-08:002018-01-13T12:10:20.945-08:00New AdventureI recently realized I'm not doing enough to release emotions that build up in me. The pace of life I lead is not the pace I think God intended for us: juggling home, family, church and two new jobs is just hard. Having "tween" boys doesn't help; they emit lots of emotions and I find that I can stay calm, but it takes a toll on me emotionally.<br />
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It's been a while since I've posted on here. A friend said her daughter is beginning a blog and I was reminded how much I enjoy writing. I decided to begin posting again. It's a great way for me to release the emotions and stress that are making me grouchy.<br />
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Since I last posted I worked in a new field and have since decided to leave it. I don't love that since leaving full-time teaching 10 years ago when my boys were born I haven't landed on my "dream job" back in the work force. In the past few years I've worked part-time as a Spanish tutor at the local community college, taught elementary Spanish at a homeschool co-op and conducted speech therapy sessions with kids as a therapy assistant.<br />
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A few years ago my husband challenged me to decide what I wanted to do outside the home when my youngest began kindergarten. After reading, praying and soul-searching I knew the specific job wasn't so clear but that it needed to be something that would help make the world better and it should include my ability to use Spanish. All of the jobs I've done since that time have fit and I've come to learn that while juggling all my other hats, my job outside the home might not be absolutely perfect.<br />
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I think the expectation that a job is perfect is unrealistic. At the end of the day, Christ should fill my needs, not a certain profession. All that said, I've taken a new job that begins Tuesday. I am going to be a Spanish instructor at a local community college. It's the same class I tutored a few years ago but at a different location. Instead of tutoring, I'll be the instructor. When tutoring I noticed some trends: poor study habits, lack of confidence in learning the subject matter and just a general defeatist attitude. I'm hoping that I can lead this class to not fall into those traps.<br />
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I've never taught students older than 6th grade before now, but I have a Master's in Spanish and I know how to teach. I'm confident I'll figure it out as I go along and if I need help there's a fantastic support system in place.<br />
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I'm also substitute teaching. Wow, that's a special job. It's tiring and I'm doing it to supplement my income as teaching one section at a community college doesn't pay all that well. It's a great way to work truly part-time when I choose to but it's lonely and it reminds me of how much I used to love being a part of the community of other teachers at an elementary school. But those teachers work really hard and put in many, many hours. I'm just not ready to do all that again when my kids are still at this age. <br />
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So, my new adventure of teaching college kids awaits. I've printed off the syllabus for the class and prepared for the first class meeting. Wish me luck!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-9331235881690730282016-07-18T06:49:00.002-07:002016-07-18T06:49:41.143-07:0020 years laterMy high school reunion was last Saturday night. I went to a huge high school and I had the odd experience of not recognizing many, many faces in the ballroom even though I consider myself fairly social. I realize many of them were spouses so I couldn't have known them, but it still felt a bit weird.<br />
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When I went to my 10 year reunion I was in the center of where I wanted to be: I was married to a wonderful man, I had a job I loved and I was absolutely at peace. I was proud of tell that I was bilingual and taught Spanish-speaking first graders every day. That's awesome.<br />
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So why did I feel insecure 10 years later? I'm the same person. I'm happily married to the same wonderful man. We've added 3 boys since 10 years ago and they're fantastic. <br />
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I'm now a mom of 3 boys which let's just be honest for a second and agree that motherhood is very humbling. I rocked teaching. I enjoyed it very much. Motherhood is hard! Recently I took the time to write out my goals in different areas of my life. My goal for mothering my boys is to teach them to love Jesus and others and to give them a soft place to fall. Being that soft place is exhausting and not at all glamorous. But I digress.<br />
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I also work part-time now as an assistant speech therapist. It's a great job and I'm doing wonderful work with it. <br />
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Then why did I feel like I don't measure up to the others in the room at the reunion? Where is the stick I'm trying to measure up to? I don't even know.<br />
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All I know is I cried yesterday when I saw on Facebook that my circle of friends had a meal outside of the reunion that I wasn't invited to. Ouch. Regardless of the fact that I couldn't have gone, it still stung. What, am I 14? I am a confident, happy woman. Why are my emotions being rocked like this?<br />
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Because I'm human. I want to be liked. I want to have a place at the table.<br />
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Well, this morning I had a fantastic quiet time where I confessed my insecurities to God and asked Him to fill me with truth: I'm loved by God and I need to seek comfort in Him, not this fickle world. I was looking to the wrong place for affirmation.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-57627740125656611592015-02-14T12:22:00.000-08:002015-02-14T12:22:43.867-08:00Life mission statementJust today I read this lovely quote from Emily Dickinson "The Truth must dazzle gradually/ or every man be blind."<br />
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As I'm figuring out who I am I like the thought of Truth being shown little by little. I don't know that it's God's plan for Truth to be that way, but it's been that way in my world.<br />
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I have happy news: I finished up <u>48 Days to the Work you Love</u> but I don't think I had the outcome with it that I had hoped for. I had this expectation that I would work through the book and have this light bulb moment when I would magically know what I need to do for the rest of my life. A dream job. One that would make every day be shiny, pretty and wonderful. My happily ever after.<br />
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Now back to the real world where I still have 3 kids, 2 dogs, loads of laundry and all the other things I do. I thought I found the answer: go back to teaching bilingual elementary full time while my husband pitches in to help with all the house and parent stuff I currently do on my own. Bingo! <br />
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I pitched that idea and was gently told it wasn't time yet for me to go back to work full time. Our youngest is too young and it's not the best choice for us right now. In hindsight I'm thankful for the discernment that my husband used in that moment. That's not how I responded, though. I felt mad, like I had been told to get back in the kitchen and put my brain on hold a little longer.<br />
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The daily grind of doing homework, making lunches, planning meals, doing the shopping etc just isn't exciting. It's work. Yes, it's rewarding and yes, I'm very blessed to do it, but it's lost its luster. The promise of a new job that would let me use my God-given gifts and abilities was like the carrot, just dangling in front of me that I couldn't get. Unfair.<br />
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Contentment is hard. For much of my life I really thought if I just followed the rules well enough everything would work out. Life would be easy. And then I became a mom. I grew up. The Lord gently showed me that I had been worshipping an idol of comfort and selfishness. Now I see with my eyes wide open that God didn't put me on this earth so I could live in a Disney castle and be a princess with no worries. Instead, He knit me just the way He needed me to be so I could be His masterpiece; a source of hope and light in a dying, broken world. <br />
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So where does contentment fit in? Part of 48 Days encourages you to write your life mission statement. At first I told Aaron that seemed silly because I was reading this book to figure out what to do in my professional life, not my "life" life. Aaron's wise; he told me I would be happier in my job if it fit in with my life mission. He was right.<br />
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I realized that even though the seasons of my life change, who I am doesn't. The truer I can remain to who I am the more at peace I'll be. <br />
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Today I found myself bogged down in a task for my boys that needs to be done, but that I'm not enjoying. It's not in the center of my life's mission. That doesn't mean I can't do it, but it helped me see that I can do it but I need to take breaks to recharge my own battery. So I vented to Aaron about why the task was stressing me out, took a coffee break, read a book I'm thoroughly enjoying and then chose to write this blog posting. Words are therapy for me. Processing my feelings through words is a creative process that brings me peace. <br />
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In conclusion, I want to share my life mission statement. I will shine my light by being a loving wife, empowering mom and kind citizen of this world. Professionally I will use my language skills, unique way of seeing the world and gift of encouragement to help others along their road.<br />
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A lead has come my way for the fall that I'm prayerfully considering. The neat thing is that it fits perfectly in my mission statement even though it's out of my comfort zone. It would be a real opportunity for growth for me and a blessing to my family. Right now I'm holding it with an open hand until I know God's direction. The planner in me wants to know NOW if it's going to work out, but the woman who knows it's wiser to wait on God for me to know His will is content to wait it out for today and trust Him with tomorrow.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-6110673802775065352015-02-08T14:10:00.001-08:002015-02-08T14:10:32.528-08:00The joy of receivingThe other day I got a happy surprise: a stranger paid for my lunch at Chick-fil-a. Totally unexpected and it made my day. I went on to pass the kindness on by giving flowers to a friend who had recently had a death in her family. My youngest son chose the flowers and got to give them to the friend which made it all the more special.<br />
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I was feeling great. I told my husband about the surprise lunch treat and he asked if I had paid for the next car in line. Nope. Wasn't even really tempted to do that. His question made me feel like I had somehow broken a rule and totally robbed the beauty of the gift I was given.<br />
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I've been stewing on this for a few days and today I'm posting loud and clear for all the world to read: it's OK to just accept a gift sometimes. You don't always have to reciprocate. I chose to enjoy that meal and ponder the goodness that there still is in this world. Granted, I felt led to also do a kind deed using that $9 and it was a blessing to a dear friend, but why do I always have to give?<br />
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I think there's a time to receive.<br />
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Thursday was my turn. I give to my boys, my husband, my church, my job, my friends, my MOPs group, my bible study, my pets, my community and whoever knows who else and when do I get to receive? Finally, at Chick-fil-a when a stranger does a kind deed. Well, amen, sister! I don't know you, but thank you for the wonderful lunch. May others be blessed by your kindness and sweet spirit (and may they do it more gracefully and with less guilt than I did).Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-60733834620742120032015-01-08T07:41:00.001-08:002015-01-08T07:41:22.798-08:00The impeded streamI'm feeling like wrestling with deep issues today. My house is quiet, my little dog is cuddled up beside me and I feel like digging deep.<br />
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I'm reading a book by Jenny Simmons called _the road to becoming._ it's an interesting read about her journey from being in a band, Addison road, which had success, to figuring out what to do when the band called it quits.<br />
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It's a book about burying a dream, grieving, being lost and following God on the road to becoming. I bought it because her father in law is our music minister and I like her music, but God is showing me some beautiful truths through it.<br />
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About a month ago,I was contacted that my birth mother had written me a letter and I had to give permission to receive it. I did. The letter opened the door to emotions buried deep within me that I wasn't even aware of. Tough. Added to it that I'm in this existential weird place of trying to figure out what "Laura 2.0" will be now that I'm headed back to work. it's a lot to sift through.<br />
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I've given myself permission to feel. anger spikes up at times. I feel like I've worked so hard to please everyone around me and what has it gained? Not much. I learned a while back that I have to work to stay in touch with what I want because I'll easily be swayed along to make others happy.<br />
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I won't go into it, but the letter wasn't what I had hoped for .I've heard that it's common for adopted people to have an idealized vision of their birth parents. I had been told a set of information that made me think x. The letter showed y.<br />
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Making peace with that is hard. I profess to be a Christian and give lip service to giving my life to Christ, but when "y" was the reality,I was shaken to my core. Who I always thought I was seemed to be ripped away. I thought I really believed that my identity is in Christ but I didn't.<br />
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Now I see I was mourning the loss of my dream. I'm working to accept reality. It's hard. But I can trace God's hand as I look at my own growth.<br />
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In Jenny's book she quotes Wendell berry "it may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work and when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our true journey.the mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one sings."<br />
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Wow. I'm wrestling right now with deep issues of worth and identity. At 36. I didn't sign up for this. My stream was impeded enough with 3 little boys,a husband, 2 dogs, a new job, etc before all this came along. But it's here anyway.<br />
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So, today I'm choosing to wrestle with it. I'm reminded that regardless of my DNA or the circumstances of my upbringing, I'm a loved child of God. I can't earn his love or lose it. It's mine to accept. Who will Laura 2.0 be? Still loved, regardless of the job I take or whatever I do. Victory is mine in Jesus if I'll lean into him and choose to let go of my perceived ideas of who I am. I'm enough. I'm loved. I'm amazing. I'm victorious.<br />
<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-53610246058955225532014-12-19T11:37:00.000-08:002014-12-19T11:37:24.937-08:00white spaceThe concept of white space intrigues me. Without the white space on the page there's chaos. The challenge is to allow for that margin of white space in our own lives.<br />
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How do I do that? By choosing wisely. I've found that white space is what energizes my soul. Today it was watching son #2 enjoy the magic of his school Christmas party. Seeing the joy in his eyes was precious.<br />
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Before the party,I cleaned of the stairs. A task that took less than 15 minutes made me feel fantastic. Afterwards,I played Christmas songs on the piano. Sweet #3 asked me to get out the musical instruments so we could jam. And we did to "Go tell it on the mountain". Sweet moment.<br />
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My boys are home and our routine is out the window. Today I'm still going to fold laundry and cook supper, but I'm also intentionally taking time to build in white space. I'm looking forward to doing my fave yoga DVD later today.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8794627541655751554.post-15774548272260396612014-11-24T11:33:00.000-08:002014-11-24T11:33:14.708-08:00Christmas binderI made a Christmas binder a few years ago. I saw the idea on a blog and thought it would make for the perfect Christmas. I've learned through the years a few lessons about that.<br />
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1- expecting anything in life to be perfect is a surefire way to be let down. The more I plan, the more can go wrong. I married a man that is anti planning. I've learned that so much of his time is dictated in his job that when he's home he really wants to be free. I haveto accept where he is in his life which can be tricky when I love a good plan.<br />
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2- I've learned to plan activities in pencil and keep expectations low. It's taken time, but I'm learning to be more of a Mary and less of a Martha.<br />
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3- i'm also learning to enjoy parts of the binder that are uniquely mine. For example, I write a letter to myself every year. Sometimes it's an actual letter and sometimes it's an after action report written in bullet form. It's very useful for this time of year.<br />
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I already have my Christmas cards done.I learned a few years ago that waiting on them stresses me out so now I take advantage of sales on shutterfly and do them in Oct. I like that they are done and in my closet waiting for me.<br />
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4-Gift giving isn't my strength. Aaron loves it so he has that job. When I let go of that Christmas got a lot more fun for me.<br />
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5- I used to wait to get the binder out and then be surprised by black Friday. No longer. I am going to shop on black Friday and am looking forward to it. I need new boots. I have lovely cowboy boots from last Christmas but I need to replace my riding boots. Great sales are coming for those. Here I come!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06828219375911817106noreply@blogger.com0