Nesting

When I think of nesting I think of a pregnant mom.  Weirdly, I have felt the need to "nest" lately and I'm definitely not in that place.

I've accepted that motherhood runs in seasons.  What somehow always surprises me is that I feel sad I feel when I feel the end of a season.  This season of the stay-in-place has been weird.  As a teacher it's been very stressful.  I haven't slept well.  I've worried a lot.  But, I've been challenged to grow and it's made me feel alive.  There was a challenge for me to face and I did.

Now the semester has ended.  I've turned in grades.  And I feel...proud of the hard work I put into my job.  But now as a mom I feel sad.  Sad that my boys are growing up and unsure about what the future might hold for them.  I think I feel like I can finally take a deep breath and take stock of my life beyond work.   Yesterday, instead of analyzing these fears and praying through them, I felt the need to tidy up our home and clean.  Oh well.  The older I get the more I see the need to give grace to everyone--especially myself.