Musings on being a director

Tonight is the dress rehearsal for our children's Christmas musical that as my boys say I'm the "big boss" of.

It's funny--this project came up suddenly about 6 weeks ago and it's been surprisingly fun to put together.  I've read that the best way to truly relax is to do something that feels like play.  Back in high school, I was in the cast of musicals as well as in the competitive acting class (we prepared pieces to take to competitions) and really enjoyed it.  I'm a deeply emotional person and acting really resonates with that.  As an adult, the closest I get to acting is reading my boys stories in funny voices.  Sadly, I don't even do that very often because they really prefer non-fiction stories that just don't call for my crazy Speedy Gonzales voice. 

I found a script for this musical that I really liked and then I reworked it a bit to fit the number of kids for speaking parts, our time limitation  and our unique needs based on our kids.  It was a labor of love.  The words truly reflect the reason I chose to take on this task:  so that all who are a part of this musical or who are watching it can see what Christmas is all about--God sending His son as a baby to give us hope.

I've worked hard to keep this project simple, but coordinating 3 choirs and the logistics of the costumes, set, music, drama, etc is quite a task.  I'm very fortunate that I have a fantastic group of people to make all this come together.  It also helps that my own boys are very excited about being a part of it.

I'm learning lessons along the way, like when I start to feel overwhelmed, sit down and list all the worries I have.  Then, put dates beside them.  Right after Halloween I got worried that I was running out of time.  As is way too common for me, I wasted that energy worrying for nothing.

I've loved teaching the 5 traditional carols to the kids.  I taught the 1st-6th graders songs that they "know" but did they really?  I took the time to explain the songs and we even discussed the meaning behind them.  Very, very cool.  I like to think that when they sing those songs this Christmas they will have a deeper meaning.  I know they do for me now.

I have a to do list for tonight's rehearsal: 
*ask someone to snap some photos for with my camera
**put some on FB to invite people to come on Sunday for the performance
**for my own scrapbook
*have my guitar ready to go--I'm going to accompany "Silent Night"
*Be patient and pleasant

When I'm in "business mode" I can get very terse.  Aaron does this when he's working on a project.  Apparently in man world this terse tone is common practice and acceptable to all.  Not to me when I can't figure out what he's asking me to do or in many cases can't do what it is he's requesting.  A short, choppy tone of voice makes me even less motivated to be his happy helper.  I've learned to request a nicer tone.

Tonight I need to do the same.  I've spent lots of time onstage, memorized many, many lines and am one of those people who loves being onstage.  As a little girl I dreamed of being a famous actress.  Tonight I'm directing children who have never been in a production like this before.  One of my girls with lines told me she's very scared--she's never spoken in front of a group like this before.  My job is to encourage these kids and show them God's love.  The whole point of this production is to share the good news of Christmas with others.  If she forgets her lines, there will be a screen with them written on it.  The church will still love her.  These aren't professional actors and we're not on Broadway.

In a perfect world, I would have been able to work with the drama kids and really direct them as they deliver their lines.  However, I didn't.  Maybe I'll be a part of that next time around.  I had to delegate that task to another adult who was willing to lend a hand.  I'm thankful she did.

One of the trickiest parts of delegation is allowing OK to be good enough.  God is showing me that the whole is more important the individual parts.  I have to manage the whole and keep it on track instead of looking too closely at each individual piece.  Not easy.  But I've also lived long enough now to understand that what I think is the most important thing is not important at all to others.  I have such limited vision and as the director of the project, I'm having to step back and oversee all the parts.  It's stretching me and I'm thankful for the sage advice of some of the seasoned choir teachers to help me along.

There's a beauty to sitting back today, looking at the pieces that have come together to make this production happen.  I believe that when we work together for the glory of God, He smiles proudly at our effort.  When I was making the sheep costumes, He grinned and probably chuckled.  When I taught the meaning of Advent back in September, he beamed with pride.  When I took a moment to remind the scared little girl that her best effort was all I asked of her when she delivered her lines, He nodded His head in approval.  Heaven knows He doesn't demand perfection of me--just faithfulness.

I'm prepared that tonight's rehearsal may be a train wreck.  I can't control the choices the kids or other adults make.  The only thing I have control of is me and my attitude.  I don't want to flop publicly, especially not in front of my own kids.  But that's why I've been praying over this project since its inception.

I've sowed lots of hard work and invested many hours.  I'm excited to reap the harvest.  Here's hoping that it's a good one!