This morning we took our boys to a mythbusters exhibit at a museum. Very fun. Now we're back home and I'm working through 48 days. I'm finding it's a tricky thing to be relaxed enough to take the time to search my soul and dream about the future. I'm accepting that I can do what I can when I can and I'm ok with that.
Today's brain candy: "the only way we can handle change around us is to know what is changeless about ourselves." -Stephen covey
There's a lot there. What is changeless about me? I'm not all that sure. Motherhood has done a number on me. I'm glad I chose to stay home, but it's been rough.I'm seeing this year that being back at work while being a mom is a new challenge.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
Friday, November 21, 2014
advent calendar dilemma
I love advent. I grew up celebrating advent at my church. It's a time of getting ready for Christmas.
Enter motherhood. When my twins were 2, I remember using an afternoon naptime to make an advent calendar. It was precious. We had a wonderful time with it. At age 3 I got to watch them really get that Jesus is the reason for Christmas. Super cool.
Last year, my brother gave my boys a Lego advent calendar which they loved. I looked for another one, but they are pricey.
Now, I'm thinking that maybe it's ok to not do an advent calendar this year. I'm torn.I want Christmas to be special, but I also know the more stuff I add to our days the less of me I have to give.
I'll keep thinking on it.
Enter motherhood. When my twins were 2, I remember using an afternoon naptime to make an advent calendar. It was precious. We had a wonderful time with it. At age 3 I got to watch them really get that Jesus is the reason for Christmas. Super cool.
Last year, my brother gave my boys a Lego advent calendar which they loved. I looked for another one, but they are pricey.
Now, I'm thinking that maybe it's ok to not do an advent calendar this year. I'm torn.I want Christmas to be special, but I also know the more stuff I add to our days the less of me I have to give.
I'll keep thinking on it.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
wingman
I have a cold. Yuck. Not bad enough to not teach my class at 1230, but bad enough to want to rest. So,I asked my husband to take #3 to mdo so I could stay home to rest until I need to drive to my school to teach. He said yes and was happy to help.
This time at home this morning has been a huge blessing.wise choice on my part. Figuring out how to balance work, home and motherhood is rough. Today I think I made a huge step in doing it well. I didn't spring the request on him. Instead,I asked nicely and gave him plenty of time to be able to say yes easily.
It's good to have a wing man.
This time at home this morning has been a huge blessing.wise choice on my part. Figuring out how to balance work, home and motherhood is rough. Today I think I made a huge step in doing it well. I didn't spring the request on him. Instead,I asked nicely and gave him plenty of time to be able to say yes easily.
It's good to have a wing man.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
48 days for some direction
I haven't blogged in a while because my computer is misbehaving. My IT guy/ sweet husband is on it, but it's slowed down my blogging.
Well, I've had my new teaching job for 1/4 of the school year now. There are parts of it I love and parts that are thumbs down. I'm learning some great lessons as I go. The best so far is that I can't let my emotions ebb and flow with how my job makes me feel. I'm teaching middle schoolers for the first time after teaching elementary my whole career; needless to say I've had a steep learning curve. Not so fun.
I'm fluent in Spanish and love the language. I love the way the grammar flows together and the elegance of the way the language sounds. Writing on my Spanish blog makes me soul sing. Teaching it to beginners just doesn't. Part of me feels like a snob but the other part of me sees this as a gift. I'm getting a chance to try on something new. It may be a great fit with some tweaks or there may be something else for me.
I believe that God called me back in 2002 to teach. I loved it. It's 12 years laterand I'm not the same woman I was. Motherhood has matured and humbled me. The other day while talking to a friend, she pointed out that my passions about being a bilingual teacher didn't really involve teaching; they involved being the champion for the families and children as they assimilated into American culture. Could it be possible to find a job in that arena but not the classroom? I hadn't even considered that.
So,I downloaded 48 days to the work you love by Dan Miller. Aaron read it a few years ago and was blessed by it.
Now it's my turn.
Well, I've had my new teaching job for 1/4 of the school year now. There are parts of it I love and parts that are thumbs down. I'm learning some great lessons as I go. The best so far is that I can't let my emotions ebb and flow with how my job makes me feel. I'm teaching middle schoolers for the first time after teaching elementary my whole career; needless to say I've had a steep learning curve. Not so fun.
I'm fluent in Spanish and love the language. I love the way the grammar flows together and the elegance of the way the language sounds. Writing on my Spanish blog makes me soul sing. Teaching it to beginners just doesn't. Part of me feels like a snob but the other part of me sees this as a gift. I'm getting a chance to try on something new. It may be a great fit with some tweaks or there may be something else for me.
I believe that God called me back in 2002 to teach. I loved it. It's 12 years laterand I'm not the same woman I was. Motherhood has matured and humbled me. The other day while talking to a friend, she pointed out that my passions about being a bilingual teacher didn't really involve teaching; they involved being the champion for the families and children as they assimilated into American culture. Could it be possible to find a job in that arena but not the classroom? I hadn't even considered that.
So,I downloaded 48 days to the work you love by Dan Miller. Aaron read it a few years ago and was blessed by it.
Now it's my turn.
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
My nemisis, JT Cluck
Last spring we took 7 chickens from the kinder classes. When you take baby chicks, you hope for hens but roosters can happen.
We ended up with 3 hens and 4 roosters. The cute baby chicks are now grown and the roosters just aren't my favorite creatures in the world. Honestly, I don't care that much for the hens either because they're shifty looking. Yes, I realize I sound ridiculous but it's my yard and my blog so I'm going to write about my ridiculousness.
The king rooster of pack is the only white one and I call him JT Cluck. I took that name from the Hank the Cowdog series. He's the boss of that chicken crew and not very friendly.
JT is leading the rest of the flock to leave their chicken yard (a portable electric fence that doesn't seem to even slow them down) and they are getting into the ditch, eying my front yard.
I put up with a lot. I currently have a broken downstairs toilet that I wish were working for a play date we're hosting on Halloween. My dishwasher is broken and I've gotten used to washing by hand. In the grand scope of the world, these are small potatoes and I'm looking at the small inconviences as a way to be more thankful for what we have. Like running water that's hot quickly and boys who are potty trained.
But I draw the line at JT being in my yard. My husband's solution? The racoons will get them if they're not smart enough to stay in the fence. Hmmm....I'm no animal activist, but that strikes this city girl as not a great plan.
So here's me, resigning that this life won't be perfect. Toilets will break. Dishwashers will, too. Roosters will eye my yard. But there will be a day that we'll have money in the budget for a wonderful chicken set up (here's me being jealous of Nea and her hens' lovely digs), my appliances will work and maybe I'll even be more appreciative of the loveliness of chickens.
For today, I'm accepting that God never promised me a rose garden. I'm going to focus instead on the blessings I see around me: a sweet little boy whose clothes don't match (he insisted on wearing red shorts with his Aggie football jersey) but whose heart is precious, a car that I can depend on to get us where we need to go and a husband who provides a safe home and living for us.
We ended up with 3 hens and 4 roosters. The cute baby chicks are now grown and the roosters just aren't my favorite creatures in the world. Honestly, I don't care that much for the hens either because they're shifty looking. Yes, I realize I sound ridiculous but it's my yard and my blog so I'm going to write about my ridiculousness.
The king rooster of pack is the only white one and I call him JT Cluck. I took that name from the Hank the Cowdog series. He's the boss of that chicken crew and not very friendly.
JT is leading the rest of the flock to leave their chicken yard (a portable electric fence that doesn't seem to even slow them down) and they are getting into the ditch, eying my front yard.
I put up with a lot. I currently have a broken downstairs toilet that I wish were working for a play date we're hosting on Halloween. My dishwasher is broken and I've gotten used to washing by hand. In the grand scope of the world, these are small potatoes and I'm looking at the small inconviences as a way to be more thankful for what we have. Like running water that's hot quickly and boys who are potty trained.
But I draw the line at JT being in my yard. My husband's solution? The racoons will get them if they're not smart enough to stay in the fence. Hmmm....I'm no animal activist, but that strikes this city girl as not a great plan.
So here's me, resigning that this life won't be perfect. Toilets will break. Dishwashers will, too. Roosters will eye my yard. But there will be a day that we'll have money in the budget for a wonderful chicken set up (here's me being jealous of Nea and her hens' lovely digs), my appliances will work and maybe I'll even be more appreciative of the loveliness of chickens.
For today, I'm accepting that God never promised me a rose garden. I'm going to focus instead on the blessings I see around me: a sweet little boy whose clothes don't match (he insisted on wearing red shorts with his Aggie football jersey) but whose heart is precious, a car that I can depend on to get us where we need to go and a husband who provides a safe home and living for us.
Monday, October 6, 2014
Laughter and tears
Mondays are my days to be on my own for a bit while I wait for #3 to finish up in school. I've learned to run errands and also relax during this time.
Today I had the luxury of reading a wonderful new book in a coffee shop. It was great--I had a great cup of coffee, a pastry and a book. The pastry was so so (anyone else think they like pumpkin stuff more than they actually do?) but the coffee was good. The book was fantastic!
I love Hank the Cowdog. My husband grew up reading the series and my boys and I have listened to many of them on CD in the car. I'm at the point where I read them on my own so I can quickly read them and fully enjoy them.
There's a sweet love story between the cowboy Slim and Viola, the sweet gal down the road. He proposed in the last book and I just had to know if they were actually going to get married.
I won't ruin the story for you, but there I sat, by myself in a coffee shop, laughing out loud and shedding a number of tears and loving every minute of it.
There's nothing like a great book.
Today I had the luxury of reading a wonderful new book in a coffee shop. It was great--I had a great cup of coffee, a pastry and a book. The pastry was so so (anyone else think they like pumpkin stuff more than they actually do?) but the coffee was good. The book was fantastic!
I love Hank the Cowdog. My husband grew up reading the series and my boys and I have listened to many of them on CD in the car. I'm at the point where I read them on my own so I can quickly read them and fully enjoy them.
There's a sweet love story between the cowboy Slim and Viola, the sweet gal down the road. He proposed in the last book and I just had to know if they were actually going to get married.
I won't ruin the story for you, but there I sat, by myself in a coffee shop, laughing out loud and shedding a number of tears and loving every minute of it.
There's nothing like a great book.
Friday, October 3, 2014
Still waters
Being at a place of rest is tricky. In the search of it, I've bought CDs that have water sounds, instrumental versions of fave hymns and books on yoga. I'm still not very good at it.
I will say I'm getting better. As I read The Cure for the Perfect Life, there were little quizes at the beginning of each chapter so you could tell if the chapter's topic was something that kept you from finding peace. The chapter on people pleasing was written for me. One of the quiz questions was something I had never thought of. I don't remember the exact wording, but the gist was that when something goes wrong for someone, I feel bad and look to blame myself as opposed to simply acknowledging that bad things happen every day and this was what happened to them today. This would be how my husband views life. He takes responsibility when it's his to take, but he doesn't borrow it like I do.
Wow. What clarity this brought me. Somewhere along the line I decided I was personally responsible for making everyone around me happy. That's fine if you're the hostess at a baby shower and for that 2 hours you attend to the needs of others or if I enjoy offering encouragement to those around me to brighten their day. But it's not OK if I allow outside circumstances to dictate how I feel. It's not fair to my family or to me.
So today I'm in a bit of a funk. I won't go into it (you're welcome) but I said no to going to something that my mom really wanted me to go to. It upset her. The easy thing to do would have been to say yes, but it would have been a huge hardship for my family. I'm at a point in my life that I would prefer to upset someone now and deal with that than be the one upset later because I said yes when I should have said no. That said, it still stings a bit.
This week I felt like I had my new "normal" down and it felt good. And then something I hadn't planned on in my new job was added to me. Not something huge and something that I can't do, but still more is more. I know I can adjust my routine to accomodate this new thing and it will be fine, but I can't rest until I've done that. Silly.
Still waters can't just wait until I have all my work done. God wants me to rest by them regularly. He tells me so in Psalm 23. In the mornings during my quiet time the house is still and I love the peace of that time. I wish I could figure out how to shut off the expectations, the noise and the outside stuff that keeps me from finding those still waters at other times, too.
I will say I'm getting better. As I read The Cure for the Perfect Life, there were little quizes at the beginning of each chapter so you could tell if the chapter's topic was something that kept you from finding peace. The chapter on people pleasing was written for me. One of the quiz questions was something I had never thought of. I don't remember the exact wording, but the gist was that when something goes wrong for someone, I feel bad and look to blame myself as opposed to simply acknowledging that bad things happen every day and this was what happened to them today. This would be how my husband views life. He takes responsibility when it's his to take, but he doesn't borrow it like I do.
Wow. What clarity this brought me. Somewhere along the line I decided I was personally responsible for making everyone around me happy. That's fine if you're the hostess at a baby shower and for that 2 hours you attend to the needs of others or if I enjoy offering encouragement to those around me to brighten their day. But it's not OK if I allow outside circumstances to dictate how I feel. It's not fair to my family or to me.
So today I'm in a bit of a funk. I won't go into it (you're welcome) but I said no to going to something that my mom really wanted me to go to. It upset her. The easy thing to do would have been to say yes, but it would have been a huge hardship for my family. I'm at a point in my life that I would prefer to upset someone now and deal with that than be the one upset later because I said yes when I should have said no. That said, it still stings a bit.
This week I felt like I had my new "normal" down and it felt good. And then something I hadn't planned on in my new job was added to me. Not something huge and something that I can't do, but still more is more. I know I can adjust my routine to accomodate this new thing and it will be fine, but I can't rest until I've done that. Silly.
Still waters can't just wait until I have all my work done. God wants me to rest by them regularly. He tells me so in Psalm 23. In the mornings during my quiet time the house is still and I love the peace of that time. I wish I could figure out how to shut off the expectations, the noise and the outside stuff that keeps me from finding those still waters at other times, too.
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